Part of our 2008 mission emphasis is to cultivate a culture of Christian hospitality throughout our congregational life, including our facilities, our greeting of visitors, and our interactions with each other.Part of our 2008 mission emphasis is to cultivate a culture of Christian hospitality throughout our congregational life, including our facilities, our greeting of visitors, and our interactions with each other.
Join us in expressing the hospitality of our congregation through awareness, learning, and the practicing of new hospitality skills. This month we look at communication in hospitality.
Often when people don’t want to talk, it’s because they don’t trust that their views will be heard with respect. In debate, there is a win/lose, convince, right/wrong, agree/disagree, even a listening with the idea of smashing/changing the other person’s view.
Dialogue uses a language of nonviolence and hospitality and connects to values. Values (beliefs, standards and ethics that one cherishes) are either shared or they are not. We may share the same values, but choose different strategies to accomplish results. Strategies are where conflict lies.
In dialogue we are willing to be affected and changed by what another person says. We:
cultivate a willingness to be curious and listen to understand
guess at the feelings, needs, and values beneath the words
look for commonality and bridging points to see how to move closer together
In meetings we clarify what we heard another person say by naming the value before responding. This may slow the conversation down initially, but can avoid time in cleaning up confusion or misunderstandings. This also helps include people who are quieter and take a few moments to gather their thoughts.
In working with volunteers, make sure that if someone agrees to do a task, there was no hesitation in their voice or body language. It’s better to scale down or drop a project when no one agrees joyfully or willingly to do a task. This is a wonderful feed back loop!
NOTE: Four Foyers groups have begun! One Friday, two Saturday, and one Family. To join Foyers hospitality gatherings contact the church office or fill out the form in the nave and put it in the offering basket.
Next month’s Hospitality Zone will focus on gratitude and love in hospitality. Please send any comments about this column to Cathy Moreland by putting “Hospitality” as the subject, or drop a note in the offering basket.